the happy insomniac (happyinsomniac) wrote,
the happy insomniac

Empowerment and building allies.

Often we do not respect ourselves because we feel that others around us do not respect us. This can be easily remedied.

Lend a hand to people when they need it and before they ask. Asking makes people feel weak. Offer out of humanity and not out of pity. People hate to be pitied. If the offer is declined accept it, and tell them ‘it’s a standing offer’. Do not seek anything in return other than a simple ‘thank you’. However accept any thing in return, gracefully and humbly.

Make them feel good about themselves, like they matter. When you make someone feel good about them selves they associate you with that benefit and this will make you a magnet for human interaction.

If you have a good idea and want them to participate, build the conversation so the idea comes out of their mouth. Then encourage them full force, let them know that YOU [this person who is strong and confident] believe they can do this! And you’d love to help THEM anyway you can because the idea is so great you with you’d have thought of it yourself! Yes, let them feel they beat you to the punch. This will motivate the person because they will feel that they will no longer ‘need’ you as an icon of security, they can achieve goals that you would consider valid for your own list of accomplishments and that you want to assist them in their grand idea.

However, you must keep this a secret. While the person is building their confidence they are more fragile then ever, because they let down guards and are opening the gates in an attempt to blaze forward in to the jungle that is life. If they were to find this was constructed they will be hurt very badly. This must be your secret and yours alone.

Use it when you’re feeling low, and you need a pick-me-up for your self-esteem. Know that you empowered another person! You can’t be that bad if you did that now can you? Maybe the person you helped empower will help you out now. Most people are in truth, very loyal. In today’s world we often find it difficult to find things to be loyal to [God, Queen and Country? Hardly!] But we are in heart a loyal species. The person you empowered believes in you! They really do; after all, you did save their life. They will most probably work vigilantly to return the favor because they wish to keep strong allies, like all people.
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